It’s been a month, sweetie.
You’ve been gone a month.
I still look for you every morning.
Then I realise.
I still call out for you when I want to annoy you or just lay down with you.
I still think you’ll be there barking when I get home, because you can’t wait for me to open the door and give you a hug.
You’re the closest thing I had to a sister. You and Pepsi, both. But she’s been gone a while and you were all I had.
Whenever the boys starts barking, I expect you to follow, but then I remember.
I’ve been told repeatedly that I should stop reminding myself you’re gone because you’re not. You’ll always be here, he says, but I didn’t realise that till now.
Yes, I don’t get to hug you or use you as a pillow anymore, but you were and always will be the loudest, smartest and prettiest member of this family. And no matter what, you’re always in our hearts. I understand that only now.
Yes, every time I run downstairs looking for you, I will tell myself you’re gone. But I mean that only physically. You’re still here, forever. In my heart. And I will always love you.
Sometimes I wish we hadn’t made the decision we did. Yes, you were in pain. A lot of it. But, you were still a happy dog. I get selfish, because I would do anything to hold you tight right now, but that’s for me, not for you. You’d still be in pain. So, I guess it was the best thing for you. You lived a full, happy, hyper life. You made an impact on so many lives, and you will forever be missed. I don’t know what comes after death and I don’t know what to believe, but I hope with all my heart that you’re in a happier and painless place. I love you, sweetheart.